Thursday, February 18, 2010

Dirty Scuttle, Pervy Prattle...

Need to perk up the passion? Bedroom antics all routine? *whispers* Forgetting the fun of...you know.. *exaggerated stage wink, and elbow nudge*

Ladies, with the help of Cosmo and the Cosmo boys..., we're going to remind you of some little things that will make a BIG impression on your man. And who knows, maybe he'll return the favor!

"Once my office phone rang, and when I answered, I heard my girlfriend at home moaning about how good it feels to touch herself." --Jakob, 28

Scuttlebutt: Now... hmm... Naughty girl that is. Calling her bf at work. Tsk tsk tsk.

Prattle: No work getting done there, on either side.. And the BF will have to take a trip to solo in the rest-room.. Production should go "up" from there!

Scuttlebutt: Yeah... waaaay up... and then waaaay down. *snorts*

Prattle: As long as he doesn't take reading material in there, it's all good.. *grins*

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"Wet your lips and moan that you can't wait to taste me." --Sam, 22

Scuttlebutt: Humm!! Oh yes, I think that's sexy too. *grins*

Prattle: It works *cough* so I've heard... *inspects object far across the room*

Scuttlebutt: Uh huh...

Prattle: *turns around and looks innocent* What???

Scuttlebutt: *snickers*


"Seeing a woman's lips glide over the neck of a beer bottle always makes me think of her mouth on me." --Ty, 21

Scuttlebutt: Well aren't you a typical man? *giggles*

Prattle: Duh... or popcicles, or icecream cone...or..or....


"My current girlfriend treated me to a 'bed dance'. She had me lie on my back while she slowly rubbed herself along my chest, stomach... and finally my package." --Arlo, 28

Prattle: This would be good with oil.. #justsayin

Scuttlebutt: Just stay away from candles! *giggles* Flammable!


"Push me facedown on the bed and run your hard nipples up and down my back and butt." --Dean, 29

Scuttlebutt: No, I don't think this is sexy. I just had to use it cause of the name of who said it. *grins*

Prattle: *rolls eyes*


"When you're near the point of no return, whisper four-letter words into my ears -- the really dirty ones." --Fred, 23

Scuttlebutt: Really dirty ones? Umm... Are there many of them? Cause I honestly can only think of one. *finger in mouth*

Prattle: There are more, found them via google!

Scuttlebutt: Really? Do share!

Prattle: "Dirty dishes", "Dirty laundry", "Filthy car"...wait, only four letters?

Scuttlebutt: Bwahahaha!!


"I'll never forget the time a girl commanded me to lie still during woman-on-top while she turned an entire 360 degrees with me inside her. I felt every inch of her." --Wade, 27

Scuttlebutt: Oh dear... that doesn't sound very comfortable. What do you think Prattle?

Prattle: No, not comfortable at all. Unless you're just changing position, then standing on the bed above him and giving a show would work better I think.

Scuttlebutt: You think? You sound like a pro.. *grins*

Prattle: *doing the bunny hop* Me??

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"Prop a few pillows under your head so you can see the action. I'm fixated on how my manhood looks going in and out of you -- I'd be thrilled if I knew you were too." --Matthew, 21

Scuttlebutt: *coughs* Who selected those quotes anyway?

Prattle: Perhaps out of a hat..

Scuttlebutt: Out of scuttles butt..

Prattle: Bwahahahahaha!


"Make two fists around my shaft and twist them in opposite directions as fast as you can." --Jamie, 30

Scuttlebutt: *chockes on my coffee* Is he serious? He wants us to choke his... shaft?

Prattle: No, he want's an "Indian burn" as we used to call them when we were kids.. Maybe apply lube before so he doesn't develop a rash..

Scuttlebutt: I think that with that one I will go for the strangalization!


"While giving me oral, most chicks stop as soon as I reach my peak. But this one woman kept her lips on me through my climax. It was heavenly." --Chuck, 27

Scuttlebutt: Mhmm... *looks at my fingernails*

Prattle: What? "This one woman"?


"More morning sex, please. We don't have to do it right when the alarm goes off; standing up in the shower or over the bathroom sink are pretty hot alternatives." --Charlie, 26

Prattle: No one can talk to me, let alone touch me "there" before my coffee.. sorry..

Scuttlebutt: What about doing it while having your coffee? *smirks*

Prattle: Nope, not till I've had my first cup.. don't want to spill it silly woman!

Scuttlebutt: You are such a stick in the mud!

Prattle: Yes, when it comes to my coffee!

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"One night, I came home to find a trail of photos leading up the stairs. Each one showed my girl... minus one piece of her clothing. When I finally got to the bedroom, she was taking one last picture of herself, totally naked." --Benito, 27

Scuttlebutt: Creative I would say.

Prattle: At least it was the BF and not the cable guy!


Source: Cosmopolitan

7 comments:

SlipperyWetPanties said...

BWHAHAHAHAHAHA I think I might try a few of these "tips" ladies!!

SlipperyWetPanties said...

P.S. slippery wet panties in my blogger name ~ it's meeeeeeeee Iam1hotmess ~ Cynde Lou Whooooooooo
LOL

Editor said...

Ok Chryssa said I should comment :D he he he, um well firstly I am never drinking beer like that ever again, getting it in a glass. Secondly um, Secondly I now know licking your lips at any time is bad! lol ha haa @rowantastic here :)

Prattle said...

Mwhahaha! Thank you for commenting ladies!! :D

@SWP there were some we didn't talk about...yet...that I was thinking were very interesting and I hadn't tried yet!

Reel said...

um, do they have advice for sexy medics show up at your house when you call 911 by any chance?

*snaps fingers*

TY ladies for making me giggle!

Prattle said...

@reel No, nothing said about sexy-attle medics.. :D although...he saw your bare ass....soooo.... *winks*

Hope you feel better after the shot in your ass! LOL!

rilenama said...

well ladies thanks 4 the laugh i'll wait 4 more 2 come along and i love the piggy photo cryssa!!!u are a dirty pig!!!!